This newspaper is generated daily by my (un)intelligent agent. For
more information on the newspaper's generation or if you have
questions/comments, please consult the Newspaper
Frequently Asked Questions list.
-Thanks, Aaron, proprietor of the Last
Homely House
This edition was generated on Thu Jan 30 08:45:01 EST 2014
DEAR ABBY: I have been with my husband for 19 years. I offered his plumbing services to a married couple I work with. While he was fixing the problem, he became friendly with their adult daughter. She was lonely and I knew the family, so I wasn't concerned. Their relationship developed into…
The senator claims he “didn’t try to shut down the government,” despite strategizing to do so. Having satisfied the lunatic right, he’s trying to move back to the middle for 2016.
Get 20% off select items from Special K as shipped and sold by Amazon.com. Shop from the comfort of your home today! Free Shipping for Prime members.
AdChoices Special K™SponsoredAs House Republicans prepare to sell out the country on immigration this week, Phyllis Schlafly has produced a stunning report on how immigration is changing the country. Citing surveys from the Pew Research Center, the Pew Hispanic Center, Gallup, NBC News, Harris polling, the Annenberg Policy…
By Bill Cotterell TALLAHASSEE (Reuters) - Excavations at a makeshift graveyard near a now-closed reform school in the Florida Panhandle have yielded remains of 55 bodies, almost twice the number official records say are there, the University of South Florida announced on Tuesday. "This is…
Rory McIlroy confirmed he is back on top form with a stunning 63 as the first round of the $2.5 million Dubai Desert Classic got underway Thursday with a barrage of birdies. Firing seven birdies and an eagle, the 24-year-old from Northern Ireland continued his storming start to the season which…
After Colorado and Washington went all in on marijuana legalization, activists are working hard to get their states to follow. Here’s who’s likely to go next.
Danny DiPietro, a 10-year-old from Howell, Michigan, was in the car with his dad on the way home from a hockey game when he made a life-saving observation out of the corner of his eye.
Former Atlanta Braves star Chipper Jones became the MVP when he rode to the rescue of an ex-teammate who was among thousands stuck on iced over Atlanta highways Tuesday night. Braves first baseman Freddie Freeman was among the thousands of people stranded when the rare...
ST. LOUIS (AP) — Lawyers for a convicted murderer were making final pleas for his life on Tuesday, just hours before his scheduled execution in Missouri.
SAN JOSE, Calif. (AP) — Seventeen rural communities in drought-stricken California are in danger of running out of water within four months, according to a list compiled by state officials.
By Babak Dehghanpisheh BEIRUT (Reuters) - While international sanctions have made life a struggle for many Iranians, they were a big break for businessman Babak Zanjani, who made a fortune helping the government evade the restrictions on oil sales. A $40,000 watch on his wrist and a Tehran…
LOS ANGELES (AP) — A woman who drove 2 miles through a Los Angeles suburb with a dying man on her windshield says she can't remember hitting him.
It was the mayor of Osaka who said that comfort women served a “necessary” role, not the mayor of Hiroshima. The newly appointed chairman of Japan’s public broadcasting system apparently thinks so. In the latest in a string of revisionist statements by conservative leaders in Japan, Katsuto Momii…
Our experts have put together a list of the best SUVs for great prices. Starting at $25,000, we countdown the best SUVs for less!
AdChoices Kelley Blue Book®SponsoredA Texas teenager’s skydiving trip to celebrate her 16th birthday turned nearly fatal when her parachute failed to open and she spun 3,500 feet to the ground. Mackenzie Wethington, 16, traveled from her home in Joshua, Texas, to Chickasha, Okla., with her father, Joe Wethington,...
Google's sale of faded mobile phone star Motorola Mobility to Chinese computer titan Lenovo promises to strengthen Apple's rivals at home and abroad, according to analysts. The US Internet goliath on Wednesday agreed to sell Motorola to Lenovo for $2.91 billion, after a lackluster two-year effort…
It started out like dozens of other interviews after Tuesday night’s State of the Union address. But when a reporter decided to press Rep. Michael Grimm on his personal campaign finances, the Republican congressman abruptly ended the interview with a violent threat.
How to catch a comet: First, set your alarm clock to wake up after a two and a half year nap, then reboot your computer and check your odometer. You are now 500 million miles from where you started 10 years ago. Rosetta is the...
Few parts of the job searching process cause job seekers more anxiety than discussions about salary: How much money should you ask for? Of course, employers who inquire into salary history generally claim that they need to know what you've earned in the past because it helps them figure out how…